Hey Reader,

I feel a little bit nervous as I let my fingertips brush over my pink keyboard for the first time in what feels like eternity.

Anyone who teaches about "building an email list" will tell you A) not to ghost your list for 7 months and B) certainly not to announce you have ghosted them for 7 months upon return.

Now that I've done both of those things we can get back to the meat of this email.

First, hi. If you're opening this to either 1). remember who the hell I am or 2). because you were excited to have my name pop up in your inbox, thank you for giving me the time of day.

Because I'm guessing your inbox looks like a post Christmas sale, New Year, New You extravaganza, which let's be honest is a tad exhausting, so I deeply appreciate transcending the initial delete filter.

If you've hung around my corner of the internet for awhile, you know I love a good transformation—even if it's a seemingly tiny pivot.

After all, it's the small decisions stacking up that lead to the pivotal moments in life we love to reminisce about.

So the thing that's been on my heart that finally compelled me to put down my sweet potato chips, dust off my fingers, and write to you was this thought...

Despite mass amount of pressure to change your diet, lifestyle, job, and general outlook on life starting next Monday, January 1st, change and more importantly, transformation can happen any given Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, or Monday.

And while a fresh start can be invigorating there's nothing that says January 1 needs to mark a fresh start.

Maybe you had a fresh start August 1 and now you're reaping the rewards of that.

Maybe you, like the trees and the bears, are still hibernating because it's the middle of winter and you like your fresh starts with the warmth of summer.

When people make piles of money selling transformation-driven products, it makes sense to relish in the aftermath of a period when people frequently put their own needs on the back burner to make sure kids have a great holiday, Aunt Jane feels welcome in the home, your brother is well-fed, and everybody can easily access merriment. AKA the time between Thanksgiving and the New Year, when life seems to take on a different cadence and while often joyful can also be pressure inducing leaving people feeling like something needs to be shaken up.

But sometimes you need a pause, not a life overhaul.

Sometimes you need a trip for new perspective, not a gym membership.

Don't get me wrong, I love a fresh start.

However, I'm of the opinion a fresh start can happen any hour of any day and will generally stick around longer if you choose the date instead of hopping on a bandwagon.

Because here's one thing I know for sure about change, it can't be forced. It has to be an internal decision.

Even if your boss has threatened to fire you.

Even if your relationship is on the rocks.

Even if your body is screaming at you.

And ultimately, what we seek is rarely change for change's sake (unless you're running from something). What we're really after is transformation.

Making change for someone else's sake, on someone else's timeline, rarely leaves you with the motivation and energy to carry through to transformation.

Transformation requires inquiry, insight, intention, and initiative.

Change driven by the pressure of really good marketing rarely entices long lasting stick-with-it-ness.

Sometimes it's better to ask, "what do I intend for today?" instead of "what do I intend for this year?"

So if you're feeling the pressure of needing a word for the New Year, or like you can't quite put your finger on why seeing another new year's message kind of makes you want to rip your hair out, or stay off Instagram until February, let this be your reminder that any day of the year can be turned into a milestone.

And January 1st can be just another day of joyful living if you want it to be.

Wishing you the clarity that comes from stillness, a joyful start to 2024, and sending you the grace it can be hard to give ourselves.

xx,

Alyssa

P.S. I don't think I feel like a bear hibernating any more. Maybe it's the fact I now live in Spain where it's 60 degrees and I'm not surrounded by snow, but I'm feeling like some things I've been percolating on for the past three years are waking up. More soon.

xx,

You're subscribed to The Peel, a punchy and practical column exploring self-awareness and how we relate to one another. Written by status-quo avoidant writer, communication nerd, and life coach, Alyssa Patmos (now Alyssa Kulesa).

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The Peel: Fresh perspectives on the layers of life with Alyssa Patmos now Alyssa Kulesa. 🧅
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